So it’s come to this. Not only are you supposed to PRETEND not to have had any past, your supposed to literally alter your mind to do it.
Did I delete the memories, the way one deletes information from a hard drive? Probably not. If I were forced to recall the dates and details, I have no doubt that I could. But even if they are still stored in some corner of my brain, they aren’t part of my consciousness. They are stored and packed away in neat boxes, never to be opened again.
The same thing works, I believe, for sex. Some advocates for abstinence argue that too much sexual experience (whatever that is) can ruin one’s future marriage. They warn that if you’ve had a fair number of partners and a variety of short or long-term sexual relationships, you’ll find it impossible not to compare your future spouse to these past lovers. They also warn that your future spouse may be tormented by worry over how they compare to those with whom you had sex in the past. Thus, they argue, better to remain chaste before marriage — and stay married to the same person for life. No pesky memories, no debilitating anxieties.
Such warnings give human beings far too little credit. While it is absolutely true that for many of us, our sexual experiences get seared into our consciousness, it is — in my experience — false that we will invariably be haunted or titillated by those memories. Obviously, if we choose to dwell on the past we’ll keep our memories of past sexual experiences alive and close to the surface. Many people I know — including myself in my younger years — feel an intense desire to hold on to these recollections.
Source: Hugo Schwyzer: A long and personal post about experience, sexuality, memory, and marriage
[tags]insanity, hugo schwyzer, delusion[/tags]
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