On a recent comment thread belledame222Â (who I think is pretty cool) made the following comment. The topic was size and by extension judgments, body image, attractiveness and so on. As I prepared my response I realized I’ll probably get similar comments in the future (as I have gotten them in the past) so it would be easier to do as a separate post.
“please feel free to post your own pic for scrutiny at any time.” – belledame222
The thing is, I have a bunch of pictures up. Just head over to my flickr account and browse away. Since this comment is usually (though I have no idea if this is where belledame was going I doubt this was it) followed by an attempt to give me “a dose of my own medicine”. I did some checking to save anyone who wants to try and “get me” the trouble…
- I think this one is about the least flattering as far as my body shape goes
- This one is the picture I have in the past gotten a few angry letters about (they don’t like the plaid, I think). I usually get some kind of “pervert: accusation.
- Here is one of me after I cut off the pony tail and it also illustrates why I don’t wear suits too often. The sunglasses added a nice MIB touch I think.
- While we are doing show and tell these are my girls (It’s a poly / bdsm thing). That’s Kimiko on the left and Tatsumi on the right. Anyone who wants is welcome to take pot shots at them too… they have heard it all before. (we ran a “life cam” site for years, at it’s peak we were live casting from 5+ simultaneous cameras 24/7).
Anyway my point is you simply can’t hurt or insult me (the generic you) by commenting on my photos because I either…
- don’t care about random opinions too often
- am pretty self aware about my physical looks and how attractive they may or may not be
- never claimed I was a god among men (or women) and thus cannot be shown to be a hypocrite
- am not insulted by preferences
In short I am happy to show my pictures because it simply isn’t relevant.Â
- Like me? Cool.
- Think I’m ugly? Cool.
- Don’t like tall guys… why would that insult me?
- Want to point out I carry extra weight? I do. You certainly can’t hurt me with it.
Self esteem comes from self knowledge and honesty. I know roughly where I fit in on the mating competition hierarchy and I am ok with that. Anyone who wants to tell me I am not higher than I am isn’t giving me shocking news and anyone who tries to tell me I am lower than I am is simply wrong. Everything else is individual preferences – and I simply cannot be hurt by someone else’s preferences.
Enjoy!
I’m not going to make cracks on anyones appearance, because I think it’sa cheap shot and useless. However, women face a lot of pressure and bullshit to look a certain way, and they hardly need more of it…from anyone.
I responded to some of the same issues on another thread, but I wanted to drop in here quickly and link to that for completeness.