Jesus gave me a lightsaber…

For a long time I have enjoyed the forums at Portal of Evil but recently a friend of mine reminded me how awesome the can be. Witness the below find…

“And one of my most valued “spirit” possessions right now is, in fact, a Jedi Lightsaber I recently acquired. I dunno who made it: but I saw it when I allowed my reconnection with Jesus (and the light energy Jesus brings that the Church had always hoarded for themselves and had intentionally created bad stigma/propaganda about so no one but them could claim it and distribute it to the masses — sorry you fucktards, bet you weren’t expecting your unexplainably caucasian bearded saviour to be a shapeshifter) and it was floating over my hand. As of right now it has a bright blue blade, but came with an additional crystal so I can make it orange. Perhaps I just found it while “surfing” the spirit realm. Perhaps I made it in a previous life. Perhaps it’s just in its destiny form and I’m destined to build one of these things. Regardless, it’s a beautiful weapon: and I’m extremely talented with it. Now, mind you, I said talented: not necessarily skilled — I’d still get my ass kicked by the angsty Star Warshonen of the year, but I demolish anybody at my level of training. Fighting me is not a good idea anymore: not in single combat, at least. Interestingly, the spirit energy behind the saber does not lust for combat — it does for power and fulfillment, but it demands it in the form of order/beauty and nobility rather than blood.” – the POE thread

Enjoy!