Seriously. I don’t mean little “c” crazy people… like your friend who eats sandwiches off the back of his hand or the chick you know who likes to set pretty people (girls and boys) on fire (it only lasts a second). No, I mean the big “C” crazy like the girl who you just know is going to spend hours at night calling you and hanging up or someone who needs to be on medication just to keep them from freaking out and murdering someone. There’s nothing wrong with a little Xanax or the like among friends… but the real nutcases? no go man.Â
You know – the actually non functional fundamentally broken types.
Don’t tell me you didn’t spot them coming… you did. I don’t know why you thought they would be a good idea but unless they look like Jessica Alba and have a friend who looks like Megan Fox she likes to invite to bed to better service you there is simply no excuse. Even at that, it might not be worth it.
Ok. I’m kidding. That would be totally worth it.
The Internet has many educational websites on it and blogs have only been making this more true. You can find examples of just about every mistake you might make in a relationship being played out in real time like the love child a soap opera and a train wreck. Lets look in on one such accident in the process of happening. Meet Kassiane and Jerod, two people who at some point had what was either a loving relationship or were involved in a kidnapping / long term rape. It’s pretty hard to tell.. the stories are conflicting on most points.
Kassiane is basically crazy. Her self admitted Autism is a huge factor in her behavior and just reading her blog will give you a good sense that the issues it causes go fairly deep. We’ll talk a little bit more about her blog in the future as it is also a perfect window into may of the echo chamber problems surrounding medical issues. In addition she has bought into a whole raft of belief systems that frankly to me don’t seem very healthy or helpful… victimization politics being only one of them.
Jerod seems at first blush to be just a pretty frustrated guy who is on the wrong end of a relationship gone bad stalk fest. Of course there is no way to tell for sure since we don’t have anything that really counts as evidence. There are accusations by Kassian that he is “psychotic (medically)” and  ”schizoaffective” and one unreliable quotation seems to show Jerod with his own seldf admitted litenay of serious issues. Besides his picture looks pretty creepy and he refers to himself as a “Citizen Medical Expert”. It is possible that there isn’t any real surprise to be had that he hooked up with someone like Kassiane.
The story seems* to fit the pattern that is sadly all too common on the Internet. I have seen variations of it over and over. The pattern itself is gender neutral though honestly it is much more common when “B” is female and “A” is male. Personally I think it’s just cause men can be suckers.
- A and B begin communicating, some courtship processes happens
- AÂ may or may not begin, at this point, sending money or paying for ‘emergency’ needs – medicine, food, travel, legal bills, rent etc
- A and BÂ begin cohabitation
- Things go well for a time
- Things get worse, but seem manageable
- BÂ leaves… usually taking money, property or both
- BÂ begins a campaign to meet all the financial needs that A (if they are smart) no longer cover
- The campaign of B involves accusations of abuse against A… this will often net B another “sugar daddy” or group of rescuers… thanks to the Internet this may be in the form of Amazon or Paypal donations from relative strangers often via a blog
- B gathers a community of supporters, they often begin to harass A demanding continued financial support for B and the ‘return’ of property they will claim is owned by B – though B never paid for any of it and often did not work
- If A begins to defend themselves accusations of slander and libel will come to the fore and many, many TOS violations messages of various kinds (hosting, account, email … whatever) will be filed
So far, it seems like Kassiane and Jerod have hit every point right on time. We are now in the final stages with slander accusations flying and the obligatory abuse and rape claims being made. There are credit card bills to be explained, pictures being posted and hosting companies shutting down websites.
The allies are out in full force and there seems to be no end of drama happening on other blogs…
- Siren is a Kassiane ally who seems to be obsessed taking videos of random strangers on the highway and posting them with snarky commentary when he isn’t attempting to be legally threatening. Among other things poor Siren seems to feel that Blogger might somehow be legally liable for what Jerod posts.
- While your surfing, go hit up the videos of ensrifraff on Youtube. There are a few up there helping Kassiane beg for money and generally ranting.
- The ballastexistenz blog is involved somehow
Go ahead. Order a pizza, kick back and graze the whole thing. If you think Kassiane is being done wrong by all means send her some money … you won’t have any problem finding out how.
This all came to my attention only because of a minor uproar it has caused in the portions of the blogosphere I scan in my RSS reader. Apparently in response to accusations of rape and abuse Jerod posted some photos of Kassiane in a compromising position. Jerod feels that these photos provide a visual record of the aftermath of a consensual sexual encounter involving spanking and Kassiane and her supporters feel that these are evidence of the aftermath of some sort of rape / abuse thing. While we are on the topic I think it was a pretty bad decision to post them on the web at all for a variety of reasons…. besides posting pictures like that of someone without their permission is kind of scummy.
As someone who frequently gives advice in the BDSM community, I’ll re-iterate it here. You simply cannot take a chance by trusting the consent of someone you have good reason to suspect will not accurately remember giving you that consent later on. It’s just not worth it. I have no idea what the consent situation between Jerod and Kassiane was at the time those photos were taken, but you can bet your ass Jerod should have known better than to be trusting that Kassiane would remember any of it as consensual later on.
Now you know what can happen… and knowing is half the battle! Go Joe!
* By the way I said “seems” back there because again, we cannot be sure of anything… all we have are the unsubstantiated writings of two people on the web and at least one of them has serious mental issues. Since we live in a world where the terms “libel” and “slander” get tossed around with wild abandon I’ll tell you right up front – save your breath. This post is neither.
This has to be one of the most condescending posts I’ve ever had the displeasure of reading. You must be perfect in every way I presume?
Autism isn’t crazy with a Capital C.
Schizoaffective is Crazy.
There’s a huge difference. The schizoaffective guy was running a website called Crazymeds.
When you’re schizoaffective, you see things, hear things, etc. It’s like bipolar and schizophrenia combined into one. Pretty dangerous.
When you’re autistic, you don’t. And generally you’re not dangerous…
I’m a bit disappointed that you waved away the picture-posting as “kind of scummy”.
Yes, yes, Jerod’s a martyr, woe be his poor judgment and all that, but posting incriminating pictures of your ex without her informed consent (in her case this would probably evaluate to “never”) is not okay; it’s never okay. This is the internet; it’s not ever possible to undo what he’s done.
If he hadn’t done that, I’d probably be on his side on this issue, not that it really matters. But it’s never, not ever, I don’t care if she broke your heart and ran off with all your money never acceptable or understandable to do what he’s done.
Joseph: “This has to be one of the most condescending posts I’ve ever had the displeasure of reading. You must be perfect in every way I presume?”
Nope… but I am a long way from this level of dysfunctional.
Siren: “Autism isn’t crazy with a Capital C.”
Kassiane has a lot of other issues besides her autism. Whether or not she has gotten around to someone stamping “Crazy” on her resume with all the other diagnosis won’t change that a bit.
grendelkhan: “I’m a bit disappointed that you waved away the picture-posting as “kind of scummy”.”
I hear you, I do. I just have a very hard time lining that behavior (which sucks) up against what may well be rape charges (you know that’s where Kassiane is heading with the echo chamber of crazy she has around her. She’ll start ‘recovering memories’ any day now). When faced with that sort of accusation Jerod may well feel that he has to present some evidence of consensually. Then again, Jerod isn’t wrapped too tight either, so who knows what’s on his mind.
I suppose the distinction is that questions about how consensual or nonconsensual their interaction was can be debated, but there’s absolutely no doubt that he posted pictures of her which weren’t intended to be shared. There’s not really much wiggle room on that count, whether Kassiane is an unreliable narrator or not.
I agree. I also agree that that is often a bad thing. However I do not hold that it is always and forever a universally unforgivable thing. Thats not to say that in this case I defend what Jerod did at all. I just think there is a little more nuance than “post picture, go to hell”.
Actually, the title “Citizen Medical Expert” was bestowed on Crazy Meds (and thus Jerod Poore, its owner) by the Pew Research Organization.
You can read the entire report here, and see the actual citation on page 26.
http://www.envisionsolutionsnow.com/pdf/Studies/Online_Health_Search.pdf
As to the current flurry running around the internet, I can only add that the truth, especially in the mentally interesting community, is rarely black or white: it is usually quite grey and convoluted.
And that whomever has a positive EEG will win in the “I can’t remember” department. (hint: only one of them does).
Dymphna
Actually,
RE: "She'll start 'recovering memories' any day now"
She's already done so.
About numerous things.
And she's also had visions of the Stephen King 'It' clown coming up the sink drain.
So she says.