Ok… I’ll just toss this one here because it is so crazy and I don’t want to lose it down a memory hole.
"When I met my husband I found a stash of mags, I didnt know him well at this point but I binned them. We married 2 yrs later and have bn wed for 2 yrs. Almost a year ago I caught him searchin on web and went crazy at him. He is a gentle kind and loving man and was gutted because he had hurt me. He promised it would never happen again. Last night I caught him accessing MY external hard drive with video clips. I am sick to my stomach and feel like he has been unfaithful and betrayed me. I was abused when I was young and Ive only ever trusted him. He has tainted my precious safe love life. He has invited others into a circle that was exclusively his and mine. He admitted that he did M. I dont know how to carry on, the deception and lies are too much.Im a christian and he is not. Please help me" – alyson loses her mind
I have wondered before, and I will wonder again. Why does anyone hook up with someone that unstable? I am all for trying to help something you are fond of who might have some damage (like a rescue puppy) but are you really going to spend your life with someone who pulls this much drama out of nowhere because you had a few magazines? Really?
Let’s accept that you love them enough to try and deal with it. I am still baffled about why you would allow someone that unstable to back you into a corner and put you in a position of having to hide a completely normal sexual drive. We have seen this in the radfem community where some have used this as a weapon to (imho) abuse their children.
The only way forward would be for her for her to agree to move forward with therapy and maybe medication to fix whatever issues are making her such a paranoid drama queen. Certainly the last thing someone like that needs is a support group / echo chamber to re-enforce the paranoia. Especially when the supporters are a fairly crazy and paranoid bunch themselves.
"Through the pain of PA, I have learned the only one I can fully trust is God – he’s the only one holy enough to not betray. People are fallen and living in a fallen world – I can trust some of them somewhat, but none of them totally." – LookingUp gives us a glimpse into her world (emphasis mine)
There is a lot of pain and damage there. We see and hear much the same thing in the radfem communities. These folks need real help sometimes, not just an echo chamber*. Interestingly, in another post LookingUp does let us see a little bit of the real motivations behind such condemnation.
"I was bad today. I checked my husband’s computer history. I knew I wouldn’t find anything. I don’t know why I did it. Sometimes I think I’m almost hoping to find myself in a one-up position so I don’t feel so bad about my own addictions and faults. I think my deep thoughts are, "I’m better than him – I don’t eat in secret and he porned in secret." Nanner-nanner-boo-boo." – LookingUp, behind the curtain (emphasis mine again)
I think that is very, very common with those who try and use guilt to control others. The want the moral high ground so that they can act out.
* note: So why do I post them here? Certainly this is not help, right? That’s right. Nothing about being posted here is probably going to help folks like LookingUp. They wouldn’t listen to anything I say anyway. However their example might help someone else avoid the trap. Oh, and the Lulz.
No comments yet.